olddoggarden: dayle turner

fYesterday was terrible. I ate

an apple
5 Pieces of pizza
A grapefruit
peanut butter and jelly sandwich
beans with rice fried in oil

altogether it was about 2500 calories. It all started with mom taking me out for pizza. I�had only eaten an apple before that. Once I started my hunger took over and I lost control. The whole time though I�never felt the comfort in the food. This was a first for me. I just kept eating and eating, but I couldnapos;t find what I�was looking for. I realized that food is just something we associate with comfort. Now I�know itapos;s the opposite, and I vow to never let it control me again.

� That brings me to today. Day one of the ABC diet. I�decided I�was going to do it after my binge last night. My last binge. I�am now going to do it for the full 50 days. It will be hard, but I�will be so strong. Now, for what I�ate today. (Day one allows for 500 calories)

3 Tblsp ground nutmeg-100
1/2 cup soymilk-50
1 grapefruit-100
3/4 cup oatmeal-250
Total-500 (sucess today)

�I�took the nutmeg at 11 and itapos;s just starting to really hit me. Iapos;m slightly stoned right now, but�I�think I will be more soon. Nutmeg isnapos;t anywhereapos;s near as strong as cough syrup, but itapos;s better in a way. Iapos;m not nauseous, but Iapos;m more with it. I feel like everything is soft around the edges now. It makes it easier to cope. It sucks that I�had to waste 150 calories to get stoned, but I�needed the milk to wash down the nutmeg. Iapos;d rather have pot brownies, but I canapos;t so I will stick to nutmeg for now.
�